i’m just so content with sitting in my underwear eating cherries and drinking silk light vanilla.
…and whoa, my last post was in january.
if i wanted to spend the time and energy it would take to recap everything that’s happened and/or changed since january, i still don’t think i would. although i am willing to say that i can allude to my last post, which mentioned bonnie having kidney problems. my baby didn’t make it. we had to put her down a few weeks after that post. i keep her picture by my bed. that’s all i’m going to say about that. r.i.p. baby.
i remember kristen telling me that whenever she blogs (i hate blogging as a verb.. let’s call it.. updating), she refers to people by the first letter of their name to be safe. so… let’s try it.
i can safely say that i think i’m falling for someone. oh god. maybe i should make my wordpress private to the public eye. i sound like i’m in junior high.
…but like i said, i can safely say that i think i’m falling for someone. how strange it is that his name begins with a J like so many other names that i have incorporated into my life romantically. but this J contrasts with the other J’s (or how about…the entire rest of the alphabet) in more ways than i can count. and maybe that’s why i know that i can ‘safely’ say these things, because in any other case i feel that i would’ve cut something like this off by now. but i’m content… 70% of the time, give or take. and maybe the reason why i stick around is because it’s so terrifying. terrifying is a little strong. it’s … intimidating, to say the least. the most unpredictable letter of the alphabet i’ve ever met. we’ll see.
right now i couldn’t ask for more. except maybe from what was previously mentioned. my friends let me be everything i’ve never thought i could be. or at least let me become/evolve/do the things that i used to be afraid of. i still second guess myself… but i’m getting there. everything is beautiful. everything flows the way it’s supposed to. and if i don’t know if it’s going to, i let it happen and accept it as the way it’s supposed to be. i’ve never been that way in my life.
time to begin…again.
